Random stuff

No fangirling in this post. I swear. No fangirling. >_< I'm just going to blog about random things I -was- going to blog about yesterday, only I noticed I'd already fangirled like mad, so....

Music. I'll talk about music first. :)

I'm finding that a lot of the songs I've downloaded (and not liked at first) are beginning to sound nicer and nicer. I guess it grows on you. I remember how, when I first heard KAT-TUN's Real Face, I disliked it. XD And then I listened to it a few times through my playlist, and I realized that it wasn't too bad after all, and it actually ended up as one of my favs. XD

So now, after having listened to several of the songs while I listened my way through the playlist, I find that some of it really aren't all that bad. Atobe singing that song *has forgotten title* is rather endearing after a while. :3 *flails* And the Golden Pair one is pretty cute.

But none of them caught my attention at first listen, so I still love those that did, like Rising and Bambina and other pervy songs. XD (Ryoma singing is such a cuuute thing. XD He went, "One. Two. One, two, three." and I laughed. He sounds so adorable.)

--STUDIES--

Just got my results letter from TQA. *dies* My teacher would be so disappointed.

--LIFE--

Okay, okay, I said no Shiraishi/Fuji talk, but this is related, but not related at the same time. ^^;

When Fuji lost the match to Shiraishi, the first thing I thought was, "NOO!!"

Then the second thing....it's a bit hard to put into a sentence. XD It was more, Fuji's a tensai, so naturally everyone expects him to win. Everyone on the Seigaku team - and Ryuzaki-sensei - was rather confident Fuji would pull off a victory.

So when he failed, I was like, "Ouch." Everyone looked quite disappointed, seeing as it was Fuji's first loss in an official match. I caught myself wondering, it's really hard to live up to other people's expectations. It's even worse when you're actually -talented- and everyone comes to rely on you, and they look so crushed when you fail. I hate that. I absolutely hate that. I can't stand the look they give you, and the syrupy "At least you did your best" sentence. Maybe it's just me, but I can't stand failure when I know I have a chance of succeeding. Unless I was particularly unmotivated, then I wouldn't care at all.

Like the time when my FPS team submitted our third and final folio, you could say. We'd done great/okay on the first two, and my friend was so happy we had a chance at winning and going to Melbourne. The results came back - I didn't get a chance to see the folio, but apparently we did pretty bad.

Worst thing? The most important section, the one that counts the most, was done by me. Because on the first one we did we got near perfect marks, which, according to my friend, was hard to get. So I had been assigned to write that.

And I failed. Horribly. I was so...*insert a word that I'd rather not say here* that I avoided my friend for weeks because I was feeling so guilty. That's why I'd rather not have people counting on me, hoping that I'd live up to their expectations. Because I can't do it all the time. Because I might fail, then I'd go all depressed and stuff. Not serious 'depressed' depressed, but more the 'I-don't-want-to-look-you-in-the-eye' kind. And no, I'm not the miraculous anime character who bounces back to life after someone gives me a talking-to. I just skulk and hide. I've always been more of a coward than anything else. That's why I'm mostly just flowing along with everyone else - don't like the way I talk? I'll change it, or Don't like my avvie? What would you like? I can swap it - sort of thing. Guess that could mean both a good and bad thing. I'm flexible, so I can more or less get on with people as long I don't have to -talk-. That's good. Bad is when I don't stand up for myself, so I get trampled over and such.

Two sides to the coin.

But that's kinda pointless now, because the FPS fiasco is all over (in fact, Tommy - the guy who shares a birthday with me XD won the trip to Melbourne to take part in the FPS there - singlehandedly, when the normal standard was 4 in a team). I'm not sure if I want to do FPS again this year. I know my friend invited me to do it again in 2009, but remembering this (thanks a LOT, Shiraishi/Fuji!) I'm not so sure now. Gah. *flounders*

And seeing all that, it makes me smile wryly when I realize I place a lot of expectations in -other people-. What sort of lowly hypocrite am I? *headdesks and frets*

--RANDOM--

I can't seem to cook dinner properly any longer. I did the vegetables last night, and tasted it, and it tasted vile and bitter, like Chinese medicine.

But the rest of my family members seemed to think that it wasn't bitter at all. O_o My taste buds are going. I tasted it several times, and I -swear- it's disgustingly bitter. How can anyone miss that??

And I saw something like a fried tea bag in the compost heap.

(This IS the random section, you know. XD It just looked fried to me. O_o)

I'll probably be blogging again soon....I love sprouting nonsense too much, it keeps me from prowling endlessly and restlessly. :)